How Could I Be So Stupid? Disappointed In Myself

September 16, 2022

I can’t believe we are in mid-September. I still have no idea where summer went. However, time seems to be slowing down, which is kind of nice. I am finally beginning to feel like I am actually living in the moment again. The days feel like they are speeding by, while the weeks are going by slowly.

Feeling Very Stupid

Over the last twenty-four hours I have been feeling very negative towards myself. Essentially, I have felt very stupid and wondering how I could have been so stupid. Last night I realized I have some managed to lose my left air pod. I completely emptied my backpack to see if it fell out in there, but had no luck turning it up. Eventually I thought to look in the find my app, and it said it was last seen in the school of business. However, since the air pod was dead, there was no way of knowing if it was still in that building. I retraced my steps of that day but had no luck in finding it.

I called campus security but they said it has not been turned in. After not knowing where my air pod was or if it would ever turn up, I began to pray that a kind soul would turn it in to public safety or by some miracle I would come across it. Thankfully I did not lost all hope in finding.

Not So Stupid After All

Fast forward to today. I went to my one class and on my way back to my dorm I decided to stop back the car just to double check that it had not fallen out there. I did go off campus the day my air pod went missing. This was my last ray of hope of finding it. Aside, from someone turning it in to campus security.

Sure enough, when I opened the car door, there it was sitting on the floor in the back seat. I didn’t even to dig around and look for it. I am eternally grateful for having found it, whether it be shear coincidence or a greater power. Either way, I am thankful to have it back. I felt stupid for not having looked here yesterday.

As per the usual, I was incredibly mad at myself. I felt so stupid for having not realized it was missing sooner. I think it went missing sometime Wednesday, but I didn’t notice it was gone until last night. However, I kept reassuring myself that this happens and I can’t be the only one to lose an air pod.

Even though I still had some hope that my air pod would be found, deep down I wasn’t so sure. If my air pod had been lost somewhere on campus, such as the school of business I think the ending to this story could have been very different. I am glad it fell out in the car, because it was easy to find. However, I feel somewhat stupid for having not thought to look there in the first place.

Positive Year

Aside from this incident, I have to say life is going pretty well. In fact, school is going a lot better than I thought it would. My anxiety has not been too bad. My summer job of working as a bank teller greatly improved my communication skills and I have definitely noticed the difference this semester. I feel a bit more at ease when communicating with people and just being in social situations in general. That experience was a great one and I know it will help me in the long run.

Favorite Season

On another note, it is finally feeling like fall! I have to say, fall and spring are probably my favorite seasons. I love the temperature that these two seasons have to offer, where they’re not too hot or too cold. These seasons feel very cozy to me. I love sweaters and all cozy clothes!

These last few days the weather has been amazing. Today I even got out for a walk! I haven’t taken many walks recently, so this felt really nice! I drove to the next town over and parked and walked up to beach. It was very relaxing and meditative. It was also nice having both air pods to be able to walk and listen to a podcast ;-). Walking is probably my favorite form of exercise, mainly because I don’t have to exert too much physical effort, but it’s still a form of good exercise. As well, it lets me be with myself and do some deep thinking and pondering. I don’t like meditating as it’s too still and quiet, so walking is a bit of meditation for me, where I can focus on breathing, reflect, listen to a podcast, talk with God, etc.

I am grateful this year has been going so well. Thankfully I don’t have too much homework and I am still able to have some down time. Because my homework load has been so light, I’m hoping that I can begin taking more walks. I think they really help me to become more in tune with myself. I am looking forward to see what the rest of the semester brings! How is the start to the school year going for you? Leave me a comment or send me a message and let me know!