As I mentioned in last week’s post, junior year was mentally and emotionally exhausting. I faced a lot of grief and loss in a matter of about 6 months. As a result, this year took a lot out of me and has left me feeling very burnt out. This summer I know I need to focus on prioritizing my mental health. I’m not sure I would make it through senior year otherwise!
Doing What is Right for Me
For the last two years, I have worked as a seasonal bank teller. However, after a lot of careful thought and consideration, I decided to not return to that position this year. I graduate college in a year and there is only so much time left for me to gain as much experience and exposure to the field of accounting as I can before entering the workforce. However, I struggled to find a new job.
After not having much luck, I thought about the possibility of not working this summer and just really resting. But after being home from school for about four weeks, and I very quickly realized that I don’t do well when I have no structure. The thought of not working for the next three months was daunting and made my anxiety worse.
I ended up sending my resume to 20 different accounting and CPA firms near me. This is how I landed my current job. Since May, I have been working for a woman (a CPA) who works out of her house five minutes from us. I work remote and I am only working about 20 hours a week. Plus, this position will carry through the school year, which excites me as well.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Given my recent struggles with my mental health, I’ve been relieved to be working and have a little bit of structure in my day, but only for about 20 hours a week and from the comfort of my own home. I believe that this job and new connection was meant to be. I’m excited to see where it leads!
Prioritizing My Mental Health
This summer I have decided to really focus on prioritizing my mental health. I have been surrounded by grief in recent months, which has been negatively impacting my mental health. I have not felt this lonely, sad, anxious, or depressed in several years. I’m ready for a change, and this summer seems like the perfect time to really work on myself.
I am not one to ask for help, however, I reached out to a therapist and have been going once a week since the end of May. I’m trying to keep an open mind. I have not always been a huge fan of therapy, but I got to the point where I was feeling very desperate! It got to the point where I was willing to try anything to move through this period of depression and truly find myself again.
There are more challenges in my life, that I have not shared on here, that I want to work through but have not found the tools to do so. Therapy seems to be the key to some answered prayers. By working with a therapist, I have been able to begin working through several of my underlying issues, along with all the grief I have been feeling. I don’t want these dark and dreary days to carry through to senior year and beyond!
By only working about 20 hours a week, I will be able to earn a paycheck, while working on myself and prioritizing my mental health. I feel very confident that the work I am doing on and for myself this summer will change my life for the better. I am ready to do the work to improve my mental health. Now is a good a time as any to start!
10 Things I Want to Accomplish While Prioritizing My Mental Health
I am eager to see a massive transformation in myself this summer! However, in order for that to happen, a lot of work needs to be done. There are several things that I want to accomplish this summer, while I work on prioritizing my mental health.
- See a therapist weekly
- Maintain a morning and evening routine
- Set boundaries with screens and social media
- Follow through on a work schedule
- Elimination diet to get my health back
- Create and stick to an exercise routine
- Connect with at least 5 friends this summer
- Creating a journaling, gratitude, and prayer practice
- Learn to speak up and stop suffering in silence
- Do a hard clean out & reorganization of my room
My Past Does Not Define Me
For many years, I have been terrified to reach out to a friend and confide in people. I have been afraid of rejection by being vulnerable. I need to really start believing that my past does not define me or my future. There are people out there who want to get to know me and who want to be there for me and hear my story.
Just because I had a rough elementary and middle school experience with my peers, by feeling misunderstood for a lot of it, does not mean I’m going to feel like this with everyone I meet. By learning to speak up and be vulnerable with a few people I can trust, I will begin building up evidence for myself that I can in fact trust people and begin sharing pieces of my story with others.
Goals For This Summer for Prioritizing My Mental Health
As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I have a really hard time making friends and connecting with people because of my nonverbal learning disability. As a result, I often times suffer in silence and don’t confide in people, even when I’m really struggling. A lot of times in the summer, my feelings of isolation and loneliness increases. This is because the forced structure of interacting with people in classes or on campus is gone.
As humans we really value and need connection, however this is not something that comes easily for me. One of my main goals for myself this summer is to work on being more vulnerable and reaching out to people to connect every so often. That’s why on my list above, I want to connect with at least 5 people this summer. It both feels attainable but also enough of a stretch to push myself.
Similarly, by beginning therapy, I hope that this will be a good safe place to practice being open and vulnerable so that I will gain some confidence to be vulnerable with others as well.
My Plan for Prioritizing My Mental Health This Summer
I’m going to start small and take things day by day. I’ve been going to weekly therapy for multiple weeks now. I’ve been doing my best to really put the effort in. After all, I’ve got nothing to lose! While I am working this summer, I am also going to not push myself too hard and really focus on prioritizing my mental health.
I’m going to accept that I need help. Along with focusing on the belief that seeking a therapist is a sign of strength, not a weakness. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m going to ask the questions and do the work. I know it’s not going to be easy or happen overnight. But I’m desperate and know I need something to change.
I’m going to put one foot in front of the other and send the text to a friend to check in and see if we can get together. I’m not going to be afraid to speak my truth. I know that learning to be open and vulnerable, and having trust in myself and others, will be incredibly freeing and I will be able to build some really meaningful connections.
I plan to document and journal this experience to see my progress and just how far I am able to go this summer. Follow along with me on Instagram as I share more of this journey and my path to transformation. Let me know in the comments if you’ve ever experienced something similar. I would love to cheer you on!
Until next week, friend!